She can't understand why I would want to cheat on him. She sees him as the perfect husband. She's right of course. He is perfect. Too perfect.Why am I so hell-bent on self-destruction? Why do I think I can have my wonderful husband and another man on the side? I don't understand myself. It's not like I haven't had the experience of other men before Howard and I met. I know the difference. I know how much better Howard is than other men. What is driving me to the edge of this cliff?Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I do need psychiatric help. Maybe it does have to do with menopause. Too many questions. Too much confusion. I won't solve these questions lying in bed. It was time to get up and shower. Eat something. Think about what I want to say tonight. Be prepared. Don't let Howard get the upper hand again.I made it through the day. I lay down after lunch and slept for almost two hours. I felt better for it. But I could feel my nervousness just below the surface. I wasn't calm at all. It was. We walked to the nearest bus stop. It was past noon and we had to wait almost an hour for the bus to arrive.Stefano: "Wait, let me call my mum. I'll tell her I'm staying at your house to study."Roberto: "I wouldn't do it if I were you. What if she calls my mum and she finds out you are lying?"Stefano: "That's why you have to call yours and tell her you are studying with me."Roberto: "But I know her. She will just say no like always."While they were busy arguing and coming up with excuses for their parents, I entered the pharmacy on the street corner and bought two packs of extra small condoms with the credit card I had kept hidden. It would be fun to see them struggle to wear them.I don't know what they had settled for, but when I returned they were done arguing and that was enough for me.I showed them my newest purchase.Stefano: "What are those?"Roberto: "Something your parents should have used the day you were conceived"Stefano: "I know what those are dumbass, but she bought the.
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